Do I just give in?

[Accuray]

Yes, you handled that well, but the goal is to avoid being punishing or passive aggressive in your responses. The best thing you can do is not respond right away, just sit on it for a while. Make her wonder why you're not getting right back to her.

For instance, when she says she's going to stay late at work, you can say "Great! I hope it goes well". That's probably a 180 for you right? If you respond in a manner she would not expect, you make her start to call into question the assumptions she has made about you. You want her to question if she really does know you, and to regard you as someone she would like to get to know better (because you are happy!)

The fact that she told you is great, many WAS on this site wouldn't bother, they wouldn't want to talk to you at all. The fact that she's concerned if you'd be mad is also a positive sign. My W could have cared less how angry I was when she dropped the bomb, how I felt didn't matter at all.

I'm not saying this to pump you up, but you have a real shot here if you can get on the program and do it well. I know it's hard, it's the hardest thing I ever had to do, but it requires total and unwavering commitment.

Be friendly, be upbeat, be mysterious, be detached.

My DB coach recommended applying a "friendly co-worker" standard. You're going to be nice, polite and supportive to a friendly co-worker, but you're not going to share your feelings, you're not really going to expect anything from them, and if they don't do something you offered or were expecting them to do, you wouldn't care that much. If you can project that, you're where you want to be.

Accuray