Can I ask why you ask for advice when you already know what you will and will not do?
Has your XH been this hostile toward you right along? If he has, didn't you expect that he would possibly try and turn your son against you when he went to live with your X? This is not to say that you deserve the treatment you're getting, but how do you expect it to change when you don't even stand up for yourself? If you truly believe that you did the right thing by sending your son to live with his father, then stand by that choice, and stop the pity party.
I also believe that God will take care of us, but He also helps those that help themselves. When the time comes for your son to be able to stand up to his father and say he wants to have a relationship with you, that's when it will happen. No amount of wallowing in it will make it happen any faster.
It svcks, no one will argue with that. but patience and continuing to move forward are what will see us through.
And BTW, I wish none of us had to walk in the shoes we're walking in.
