Indecision and the affair continues (part 3)

[Nblost]

Thanks ncl,
We do sound a lot alike in many ways...although your situation sounds tougher than mine (at least "my" OW is in a different city and my H is consistently ambivalent...ha ha). Hearing your journey was very helpful to me...thank you!!!

My H also knows I've gone on some dates and is very suspicious/jealous of me. I think he's partly upset and partly using his anger to lash out at me and justify what he's doing. Looking back, I shouldn't have gone on any dates yet, although...in a way, I also think it forced some reality on H. I agree it's also nice to have other men confirm that your husband is a FOOL for leaving you. You can't get overly dependent on it...but like I've said....very valuable to learn there are other fish in the sea and you can have fun again.

I'm not sure there's much of anything you can do while the affair is ongoing. I think everyone makes mistakes along the way. I guess it is just focusing on yourself and making yourself happily detached that's the key no matter what happens.

I have a very hard time seeing my H coming back. I can see him eventually waking up from the affair (or more likely, getting dumped). But, he's never been very realistic about long-term relationships and the work that's involved. One of my fears is that even if he came back...we'd get 3-4 months into tough counseling and he'd want to bail again.

That said, my H can be a very fun, loving, sweet guy. I just don't know that he values me enough to go through the effort or make me/the family a priority.

The good news now is that I'm at the point where I continue to care less and less what he thinks or does.

I agree that hopefully life is fantastic no matter what happens. I think some people on this board lose sight of how good life can be when you are alone. :-) (especially versus putting up with all this crap!)

Thanks again!