Thanks Cyrena, I think you hit it exactly on the head. I do feel that she "assigns" unhappiness or complaints to me that I don't have. I have told her that I want for her to be happy and would love if she would seek counseling for this either with me or by herself.

She absolutely refuses counseling, she says that there is no guarantee it will help, and that the pain of going through it isn't worth the benefits it might produce, she'd rather live with it and has accepted it.

If my situation does come to an ultimatum where I am to become the WAS, it will be this issue that will be the focus of my departure.

I will read the "3 Faces of the Victim" and thank you so much for recommending it!

Accuray

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015