WE PROCEEDED ON II

[kolja]

Gunny-
That's what we've done. Or, I guess, more accurately, what my wife has done since since she's driving the divorce bus and I'd just as soon have us in marriage counseling. She found a site that let her do all the paperwork online and print it out and one of the counties in our state lets people file by mail.

Though it's not the route I'd want us to go, it has been fairly benign. It's cost us $280 to file, which beats the $100/hr the attorney I initially consulted in order to assess my rights and liabilities would have run me if I had tried to drag it out, plus whatever her legal expenses may have been (which the court could have stuck me with) and court costs. Not including the maintenance, but I would have probably had to pay some of that either way. We're in the same boat with no kids, and while there's SOME debt, it's manageable (the houses were not community property, so the mortgage debt is all mine regardless - but on the other hand, so are the houses/land).

The lack of rancor IS definitely easier on me and almost certainly on her. A couple friends of mine in the non-virtual world have opined that getting a divorce is probably necesarry before there can be any reconciliation, so doing it more or less amicably is probably the key to leaving that road open.