Well ... I'm back

[tpc1977]

Feeling a little better today. My stepping back helped a little. Yesterday we both stayed home and I worked on the floor a little more and it seemed like she really wanted to be close.

One thing I forgot to mention. When her father came to drop her and my daughter off, he told me that my wife was telling him a lot of good things about me.

Do what? Ok.

We got our other car back but it cost us all we had left at the time. With her working part-time right now we're in a pretty bad pinch. We're making it through and I tell her that over and over. But it really depresses her.

The problem is, she knows what it will take to get her back into nursing and making good money but she won't do it. She rocks back and forth between being motivated to do everything and to not do anything at all. This in turn has kept the nursing board from giving her the go ahead. She mentioned taking a second job at nights. I was pretty steamed (but didn't show it at all). I just listened and told her that if she wants more money why doesn't she find a full time job during the day? It's like she wants to step backwards anytime she really needs to step forward.

Here's a related issue. Our youngest little girl didn't make the cut for cheer leading. She's been cheering since she was 4. Now she's 12. It devastated her. In all honesty, she's good, but she isn't top notch. And when you're going against 75 other girls to fill a 12 position slot you have to be top notch. Her older sister is top notch and she wants to be just like her. Unfortunately she won't put in the hours of stretching and practice she needs. So when it came time to compete, she was off a little.

We all took the news pretty badly. Our little girl was beside herself and couldn't understand why they picked girls they passed on last year when she made the cut. She was also crushed that all her close friends made it and she was the only one who didn't. We encouraged her to move on and try something new ...

Now she's in track and here's the big dilemma; She scared to tears every day knowing she has to compete at two events she's not good at. She runs the 1600 and 800. The two longest runs for track. She absolutely hates it. She tells us that she feels like throwing up when she gets to the line. She wants to quit and tells us that other friends of hers are going to.

Nope.

I'm doing everything in my power as a dad to motivate her. She's going to stick this out and do it. At first, I could tell she was really upset about it but the longer I talked to her the more I could tell she was forcing out the tears. I told her that as many times as I've gotten to the starting line I still feel nervous, it's natural. Everyone feels nervous. But the more you do it the less nervous you get.

The biggest thing is your character, I tell her. See her biggest fear is what her friends think about her since she isn't at all fast. Most of the time she's last. I'm trying to work on her understanding that not giving up is the biggest win she could ever get. Since I started racing the Pro-Am category I've been almost last a lot. But I don't quit. Guys pull out of the race all the time because they can't keep up. Even when I fall off the pace I continue. It'll help me to improve because I treat it like training. Go hard and stick with it.

And there are tons of people watching. I have teammates watching me get last. Oh well, I said. They may watch me get last, but they will hardly ever see me give up. Not saying it will never happen. It will. There are tons of reason why I could pull out of a race but not because I lake the will. I've even puked during a race in order to continue. Hell, I eventually got 5th place and lapped the field with 4 other guys during that race.

The thing is, my wife feels the same way about our daughter not giving up. But she's tormented by the fact that she's given up on several things after she lost her job. She's bounced around for trying this to trying that and never stuck it out when things got tough. She has lost so much motivation over the years. Even now she's giving up on NA, her nursing license, and sometimes I think me and her.