The most powerful thing to come out of the weekend is how we are now both on the same page and committed to R and working on it daily. W is now onboard with followup and "inspired" to work on it!
We have been discovering we have many of the same feelings about it and it's beyond incredible! We have a long way to go but day by day I think we'll get there together. Truly think Retrouvaille was a miracle for us! will blog more later. J
M 43, W 40 T 22. M 14 D 14, S 9, S 8 DD 11/21/11 Retrouvaille 4/13/12--and the healing begins as we begin a new journey together!
The most powerful thing to come out of the weekend is how we are now both on the same page and committed to R and working on it daily. W is now onboard with followup and "inspired" to work on it!
We have been discovering we have many of the same feelings about it and it's beyond incredible! We have a long way to go but day by day I think we'll get there together. Truly think Retrouvaille was a miracle for us! will blog more later. J
That's wonderful! Onward and upward for you two, eh?
Is this a hyper-religious event? I would consider seeing if my w would go - though I question if she would. There is one in my city, but it is after the date for my D. We both believe in God, but we are miles from being Catholic. We go to a very accepting non-dom church.
I hear great things about this event - and I would be open to going if my wife would be. Just don't know if she would or not. Sometimes if she is confronted or challenged she gets uncomfortable and will flee or fold.
It's non-denominational. I believe they have a website for more info. But we're not allowed to post links. Google it.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
I checked the website and asked for additional info from the folks in my area. Very interested.
So for ANYONE that has been to one of these, what do they ask you to do over the weekend? Is it lectures? Group work? Counseling couple to couple work? Is it emotionally draining? Do fights break out? Are there forced interactions?
As noted, there is one in my city - but about 2 months after our divorce date. I guess the upside there is that there would be no pressure to "save" the marriage per se. I would like to ask my wife to attend (well, ex-wife, as it were) but not sure how she would react to the invite OR the weekend.
She is introverted in a lot of respects and probably wouldn't feel comfortable spilling her guts to a lot of strangers that she has no trust in. But what I hear about this event is so overwhelmingly positive it is worth a try.
I checked the website and asked for additional info from the folks in my area. Very interested.
So for ANYONE that has been to one of these, what do they ask you to do over the weekend? Is it lectures? Group work? Counseling couple to couple work? Is it emotionally draining? Do fights break out? Are there forced interactions?
As noted, there is one in my city - but about 2 months after our divorce date. I guess the upside there is that there would be no pressure to "save" the marriage per se. I would like to ask my wife to attend (well, ex-wife, as it were) but not sure how she would react to the invite OR the weekend.
She is introverted in a lot of respects and probably wouldn't feel comfortable spilling her guts to a lot of strangers that she has no trust in. But what I hear about this event is so overwhelmingly positive it is worth a try.
Any insight would be great.
Crimson
Wow, you've inspired me to think that it's never to late to ASK our WAS (even if they've walked out and filed and checked out) to give it one last shot.
Well, the site says it's also for couples that are separated OR divorced already. Why not take a shot at it??
Crimson
On their site it says that "Many lawyers and judges send couples to Retrouvaille as a prerequisite to filing for a divorce or rendering final decisions." so I asked my paralegal about this (in the context of a couple unable to settle their differences after mediation and before the judge made a final ruling) and this is his response: "As for Retrouvaille, I have never heard of that being ordered. There are all sorts of orders that can be made as part of a custody proceeding: Co-parenting classes, therapy, custody evaluations (which are expensive), outside mediation, just to name a few. Retrouvaille appears to be more akin to marriage counseling, though I recognize they don't call themselves that. However, I do not think a court would order it as part of the custody matter, though the parties could agree to it if they wanted."
Looking at their global span, I am going to guess that that statement was in reference to a different country - laws and protocol may be different. Even non-profits engage in marketing . Can't see how a U.S. family court could push that. Of course, what do I know?
The most powerful thing to come out of the weekend is how we are now both on the same page and committed to R and working on it daily. W is now onboard with followup and "inspired" to work on it!
We have been discovering we have many of the same feelings about it and it's beyond incredible! We have a long way to go but day by day I think we'll get there together. Truly think Retrouvaille was a miracle for us! will blog more later. J
That's wonderful! Onward and upward for you two, eh?
I hope so, it's a long road, but easier to walk with her willingly participating.
M 43, W 40 T 22. M 14 D 14, S 9, S 8 DD 11/21/11 Retrouvaille 4/13/12--and the healing begins as we begin a new journey together!
. Can't see how a U.S. family court could push that. Of course, what do I know?