the path is the goal...

[zig]

i haven't replied to you yet KD, because sadly i don't know if i can answer your question - i showed so much that i was unhappy, that i think h has never felt that he made me happy.

now when i woke up - and realized that no mater what is going on in my life, i can still feel happiness - he sees it that i only became happy after he left.

i think he is hurt and twisted about that - that he couldn't make me happy.

on the other hand - i don't ever remember feeling that i made him happy - ever either - i think we both felt that in the beginning, but things got so messy with me getting pregnant etc.

so that question has made me feel sad - it's a very sad answer

i mean, i know that we made each other temporarily happy doing things for each other - but we were always falling back into the arguing and fighting in between - there wasn't contentment between us.

i want to talk to you some more about the double bind, and ow to help myself get out of it - now that i know it can exist i am seeing it more and more clearly

but first to work

thanks again KD

zig