I didn't see it coming part 2

[breakdownbill]

Hi Bill,

That's great progress you are making there.

Thank you YC I do feel like I'm getting there now.

It's kind of funny how the tables are turning. At once we were frantic about getting them back, and then as we work on ourselves and get strong, we're like, "Why should I put up with this?" Personally though, I think it's a phase.

It's a phase of indifference to an extent. My H does stupid things like that too. Booking himself here, there and everywhere without so much as a consult. I wonder if they ever snap out of it and realise they are living with another human being?? Basic consideration would be nice, thank you!

Exactly, just some common courtesy & a little respect wouldn't go a miss.

I was on the other side of the fence with that scenario too when I separated from my H the first time around. He too began to question why he should put up with my behavior. So, he ends up leaving me and then here we are! This thing could go back and forth for a while, if I let it.

I haven't gotten past this phase just yet (the indifference phase), but I guess I could just see how it goes. What are you planning to do do you think?

If I'm honest, I'm starting to detach big time & prepare myself for moving out - I know that we have agreed to not discuss the next steps until I've finished UNI. But to be honest I'm starting to think that some time apart would be good for me too. I'm going to stay true to myself and whilst we are living together, live my life like a married man, regardless of what she does. If we separate, all bets are off & I will live like a single man in every sense of the word. This won't be an ultimatum to my W in any way, shape or form or me taking any kind of revenge. If I'm separated, I'm single and I can do what I want when I want and with whoever I want. I fully expect my W to do the same & she is probably already doing this anyway.


It's great you had a wonderful day at Uni!!

It was the best day YC - I rocked my presentation out of the park - had fun with my friends and it felt great!!

I think for me, my old relationship with my W is over & I don't think my W is ready or committed to work on what it would take to get through our problems. I'm continuing to overcome my issues & everyday I get stronger and enjoy my life that little bit more. If my W doesn't work on her issues or start to make an effort in rebuilding my trust - I don't think that would be enough for me anymore.

I love her & want my family to stay together, but without that genuine emotional intimacy our relationship is meaningless & a functional one. I need more than that, we all do.

Bill