One question I have for you: Do you feel you're LD "overall", or LD in the context of your marriage? i.e. do you feel your desire would be higher with a different man?
I have always been somewhat shy and uncomfortable being sexual but I honestly believe that I could have blossomed if the relationship had been different, if my husband had been patient and supportive and helped me build self confidence. I did desire sex with him early in our relationship but it faded over time as sex felt disconnected (it didn't feel like we were sharing an experience, it felt like he was very focused on the feelings that an orgasm gave him) and I felt disappointed. There was also a time when I tried something similar to the "just do it" where I could agree to sex and then actually find myself having a positive physical reaction but even that faded with the frustration of the demand for sex without the attention to the sexual relationship. It felt like sex became a chore to pacify this needy, greedy person in my life.
I actually hesitate to share the details of my experience with you because I sense that you are a very different type of person than my husband, but in case there are some general similarities, that perhaps you wife wanted to please you but didn't feel good about doing what she believed you wanted, then maybe it is helpful.
