It's kind of funny how the tables are turning. At once we were frantic about getting them back, and then as we work on ourselves and get strong, we're like, "Why should I put up with this?" Personally though, I think it's a phase.
It's a phase of indifference to an extent. My H does stupid things like that too. Booking himself here, there and everywhere without so much as a consult. I wonder if they ever snap out of it and realise they are living with another human being?? Basic consideration would be nice, thank you!
I was on the other side of the fence with that scenario too when I separated from my H the first time around. He too began to question why he should put up with my behavior. So, he ends up leaving me and then here we are! This thing could go back and forth for a while, if I let it.
I haven't gotten past this phase just yet (the indifference phase), but I guess I could just see how it goes. What are you planning to do do you think?
I'm in the process of deciding to do what is just right for me and to be sure not to take actions or make decisions based on anger or retaliation. Again, the problem is that it will take a while for them to 'get it'. They haven't been doing much work on themselves this whole time because they have been too busy blaming, arguing, justifying, and allowing themselves to be incredibly distracted. They have catching up to do.
It would be nice to hear from some Vets about what to do when getting back with a S that hasn't done any work, and are still in that whole justifying mode. My fear is that it will take them forever to 'get it' and I will lose my interest.
