Well a lot more is clear to me now b/c a lot of your posts seemed too vague to me or I must have missed an entire thread somewhere...
In any event, now that I am more familiar with your sitch, I want to know this.
Have you outlined in any written communication, what it is specifically, that
YOU NEED FROM HIM?
I'd love you to have a record of that somewhere...and then when he says he's confused or you are changing the rules
you can ask him if he's attending Narcotics Anon or AA meetings yet, and if not, is he willing to take an over the counter drug test in order to take the boys somewhere or to be in the home?
Why not put that in writing? (If your L has suggested otherwise, please disregard of course).
IF that is a dealbreaker for you or a condition for him to even discuss time together, or a condition for him to drive the boys anywhere OR a condition for him to be in the home---just be clear.
From where I sit, I still get a sense of vagueness with a lot of this. I don't know what you have verbalized with him. But he can CLAIM you told him "as previously discussed" and then you may have a bump in the road, legally.
However If you are emailing anyhow, have you told him to stop using and or stop cheating (yes, SOME spouses have to be reminded) and to not have fellow users at the home, and not to use in the home?
While his using outside the home in his free time, may no longer be your business, the protection of the children/home - STILL IS...put it in writing.
You may also add in "as I've told you" a few times? Not to escalate, but to protect and in his case, to remind...
I think you are trying to navigate your way thru this ordeal w/the kids and the home as the priority in mind. Express that if you can.
The more that is in writing, the better off you are legally and perhaps it's better for you maritally too.
At least then, when he's in the fog of being high or drunk then later on he can "recall" more clearly b/c it's in writing.
He sure seems to need a roadmap doesn't he?
(((( ))))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
