They totally have tried to make my son believe that his dad HAD to leave. My son has even said to me you made dad leave because he couldnt live with you any longer. So there ya go. I cant win. My son needs more time I know. BUT it is so hard to miss out on the important things in his life. I live within 10 miles prb less and cant even talk to him. Very sad! It makes me upset here because people think I am using som to talk to h. That is not the case at all. I have went many months not talking to h. I dont try anymore, well except for trying to get money that belongs to me without being trashed to my son.
Nope. I totally get that. My daughter doesn't talk to me any longer. I followed a similar route. My ex let her anger spill over to the kids. My daughter accepted, my son did not. They are both afraid to go against their mother because she wigs out on them. My ex moved three blocks from my house (the one she left). So I totally get it. But here's the thing. Your son knows better. You raised him. You have to, at some point, trust him with the relationship. Completely. It is sad to miss out on that time. Harder for him later than it is for you. Really. Not taking your husband to court to get what is rightfully yours serves no purpose. Being worried that your son is going to be driven farther away? I get that, but I don't see it. He's already as far as he can be. He can't go further or longer, but he can think that his dad is right if you don't fight for what is yours.
They will try to enlist the kids help. It's one way we know they are crazy because NO parent should ever do that to their kids. No excuse (almost none anyway; exceptions exist for violent or criminal behavior right?)
I get it. I feel it. It is real and it won't go away. You'll have to face it and deal with it the best you can and your son will have to make his decisions with or without his dad.
Teenage boys need their dads more than their mothers. That's how it is. Just like it is for daughters to need their mom's more than their dads at some point. Truth is, they need both, but they need one more than the other at times. That's normal.
Your son knows. He has his doubts about what he sees. But that doesn't excuse you from loving him unconditionally more than yourself, and it doesn't excuse you from using what is at your disposal to get what you rightfully deserve.
If he can't be there, he can at least respect you. He may not tell you for many years, but he'll see. He'll watch. He'll know.
My cousins went through similar. Their mom left over 20 years ago. Similar situation. Know what? They have a great relationship with their father and mother now. My uncle and aunt are both friends now, after many years of craziness. Know what my cousin told me? He mentioned that his mom is happy now. He knew all along but had his own life to live as well. He said some things that hurt his dad early on. It's water under the bridge now. They are all very close now and they have two new sisters to go with it
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
