Trusting, It sounds as if he has generally followed through on obligations (not without fighting, though). If that's been the case lately, he might just need a little paperwork catch-up time.
Trusting, I am a little worried when you say you aren't sure what to do when the kids are not there. I love D, but I sure feel the opposite--I have so many things I want to do and have no time to do because I am focused on her and making sure she does work for school and her activities and all that. I try hard to be a good parent and I know you do, too. But I do miss the time to myself.
There will be a point when they leave us. Make sure you are OK with Trusting and have the hobbies and interests to keep you happy. Not just busy, but happy. I understand what it means to miss them but it is so important to be happy with yourself and who you are. That is an important lesson I learned here.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
Ex still has not complied with child support stipulation. He got home from his trip early yesterday morning. I have decided to give him 1 week before I take action.
Forward, I have interests and hobbies, but my children are my priority. I worry about their welfare when they are with ex, because he does not think rationally and sometimes will put them in uncomfortable positions. Wanting them with me 100 percent of the time will never change unless ex makes a break through.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Trusting, You are a very generous person. Your xh doesn't know just how lucky he is to have you as an "ex". I would have only given him until Wednesday, cob. That would have been three days to get the funding to you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Snodderly, My lawyer informed me that the arrears would now be accumulating interest due to ex's negligence. Ex is a mess.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Trusting, I thought that would be the case about the arrears. He's definitely not going to be happy about it, but hey, he knew when it was due and should have taken care of it before Easter vacation. Yes, he is definitely a mess and you will need to stay clear of him as much as possible.
I hope he gets his act together and soon!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Trusting, He must be in the same pod w/my xh! They sure are missing out on all of the good things in life that would enrich their lives. Oh well, their choices.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Ex paid the arrears so I can breathe a sigh of relief. He came over on Saturday to drop off my daughter because she is on a soccor league. He originally told me I would have to pick her up because he did not want to come to the house anymore. I agreed with that. Then Saturday morning he texted me that he was going to the gym and could drop her off at my house to save me the trip. My guess is that he did not want to deal with OW and her questions regarding my appearance. Who knows? He was very kind and asked if I would include him in my daughter's games. No mention of bimbo, but I am not sure if it is a packaged deal or not. I don't want bimbo there.... I help out and that would make me very nervous. I will deal with it as it comes though.
What gets me with my ex is his unpredictability. He is nice than he is nasty, nice then nasty. It really is quite trying.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Trusting, I am so glad to see that he settled up the arrears and you can now breathe a sigh of relief.
I, personally, think he was testing you to see if you would be willing to change up and pick your daughter up. Once he realized that you were more than willing to pick her up, he opted to change the game. What he is doing is playing the distancer and pursuer game w/you. One time, they are nice as can be, and the next time, they are nasty. The only way to deal w/them when they are like that is to stay on course and do not react to their behavior. Once they see that you are not taking the bait, that behavior should change.
I admire your patience!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks Snodderly for the advice. It is funny how numb we get to the outlandish behavior. Kind of nice, but also kind of sad.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
