Parenting with an MLCer (and other things ) Part 2

[AJM]

No Kimmerz, you are not crazy. Nor do you sound crazy. Not to me anyway.
Upset? Defensive? Hurt? Yes. But not crazy.

I would think those feelings are not only normal, but it doesn't help that your ex is intruding in your life. Your feelings seem very normal to me.

His? Hmm.. Does it occur to you that he is "happier" now that he thinks he can move on and "get rid of" you? Most likely that won't last. He'll have to be happy without being able to blame you. That's going to take time though. Lots of it.

Stop and think for a second: it doesn't end because he leaves. Or because he does x or y. It stops when you make it stop. That may make you angry and resentful that you have to be the one to end his behavior towards you. But he will not. I can tell you that from experience.

He left. He left you with a pile of c***. That was then, this is now. He may have left, but it is your choice to leave him. And it has to be that way. You must focus on you and what you want. Not what he does or wants. That's not your normal behavior so it takes time. But you will do it now or later.

My suggestion? Give it a few weeks before you act. Let the divorce get behind you and your feelings subside. This is not what you asked for nor what you wanted. But since it's here, it does not mean you need to stay angry, resentful, nor a doormat.

I get it. I really do K. But I can tell you it gets better and you move on. And if you treat him as you want to be treated, regardless of his actions, eventually things get to a new normal regardless of what he does or doesn't do. Your kids benefit from that. You will too.

It just takes lots of time and work. But it does get much much better than you ever dreamed of. It gets better than you ever hoped. Than you have allowed yourself to experience in a very long time due to the marriage you were in.

It gets great.

Hang in there and be patient with yourself.

AJ