1-Reminder: Save ALL txt's and emails. ( copy and paste txt's into iPhone notepad as you get them, or email to yourself) 2-Mske sure you have the one re:stop badgering you. 3-First question to L is how to handle marital funds to retain her. 4-At the very least, secure your accounts to require double signatures to withdrawal funds (large amounts). 5-Find out how to protect yourself from him opening new credit jointly. 6-Get legal advice on the visitation.
I have to say. You sound mad and a bit thrown off guard, but you are completely reasonable and emotionally solid.
You've got this.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Oh, and YOUR counselor may be out today, but THE Counselor, isn't. I think you will find that He is 24/7/365. He is, mighty God, Counselor, King of King and Lord of Lords!
I thought this had already been done. Firewalling accounts when one spouse is wayward is ALWAYS one of the very first steps that is wise (and one of the few subjects that gets near-100% consensus from posters of various ideological stripes). Funds are most vulnerable after you make any sort of a stand.
Throw in any known substance abuse? Concern goes up 5-fold, at least.
Oh, and YOUR counselor may be out today, but THE Counselor, isn't. I think you will find that He is 24/7/365. He is, mighty God, Counselor, King of King and Lord of Lords!
Starsky
Thanks, I needed that reminder!! You are absolutely right. In the meantime I am putting my day to good use, as I can't concentrate and took the day off. I will talk to our banks re: securing the accounts without freezing them. I also have an appt with my gyn for a full std panel. 20 years..I shouldn't have to do this, but it is what it is.
We talked this am, and I gave her ideas regarding the accounts they have, and possibilities for headaches.
Autumn.
I'm going to head something off at the pass here... (You know some of this).
I didn't handle anything financial in my prior marriage. I only partially listened to my L about securing my finances. It cost me (at least half) of $50k that xH pulled from a line of credit on our marital home.
I only partially listened/acted on advice from my L because of fear. I feared I was over-reacting, feared I wasn't making a good choice, feared xH would blow a gasket, etc...
Don't let that fear be part if your movement. Secure you home and finances for you and boys.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Thanks mindfull, I agree with you 100% and need to be sure to not react due to fear. I am making conscious decisions in the best interest of the kids and I, and that is all that I can do. I am not responsible for his reaction or tantrums.
