Not sure where to start, Part 2

[wishing, hoping]

Thanks, H&P. I know H is probably putting on an act to show me he doesn't care and I can't mind read but actions speak louder than words.

I backslid a bit this morning. H is home today waiting on the plumber to come fix the hot water heater. He asked me to leave him the checkbook before he went to bed, which I took out of my purse last night and placed on the microwave, which is where I put things when I want to remember where they are. When I got to bed he asked me if I left him the checkbook, I said yes.

So this morning, I was getting the kids ready for school and he snaps "Why didn't you tell me you put the checkbook on the microwave?" I said "what do you mean?" He says "I would have been scrambling looking all over for it. Why didn't you tell me it was there?" I couldn't help myself. I said, "Well, did you ask?" He snaps back "I am asking now." I said, "Well, it's on the microwave. Why are you so upset?" He says "I am not upset." I said, "Okay. Well, I am sorry I didn't specifically tell you it was on the microwave. That is where I normally put those things. I thought you knew that."

I am so tired of the roller coaster. But you are right. I do love him and I am not the one who chose to leave the marriage. It just angers me when he acts like super dad in front of the kids. It is just so fake. And then he makes himself scarce so that when he is actually home the kids just fawn over him. I just kept looking at him this morning like who are you?? And why did I marry you? Those wonderful qualities are fading from memory especially with the way he has treated me lately.