I've been reading these recent posts. It hits home with me in regards to actions with my XH and many questions and feelings I have about it all too. I appreciate your insights Snodderly, you're so right on all the time. You are a living dictionary or Thesaurus on MLC. Bring something up, and you've got a good darn answer!
It's good to know that the small talk about things we did in our marriages are the MLCers way of reliving the old life and that they revisit it often. I never could understand how my Xh's memory was like a steel trap after he left, yet while here he couldn't think his way out of paper bag. Just tonight he recalled everything that's in the spare bathroom....and he's been gone a year!
I agree that they want us to be friends with them on their terms and that they keep us at reach just enough incase their "new life" or "OW" doesn't work out. I also think that because we suck it up and act "as if" and carry ourselves with dignity and handle the sitch with grace (even though we're dying inside) that it gives them the message that what they're doing is ok. I've begun to think that by acting as if, and remaining friendly when they approach us that it gives them the idea that it's ok for them to run off and do their MLC thing, yet it's still safe enough to come back and test the waters with us.
