I understand the wanting ducks in a row, nothing left to chance...that is so me...what I have learned is that YOU can answer and nurture your inner-child, only you. And its always been that way, we just didn't know as we had a spouse to help at times...really, it has always been up to us, and from your postings, you did just fine with that before H, now it is time to remember that you have always done this, always taken care of your inner-child, and can/will going forward, regardless of the outcome of your sitch.
Don't know about your H, but for me, when the kids were younger I did A LOT more with the day-to-day stuff...I love cooking (used to be a sous-chef in an earlier career), I love laundry (I mean, you get to mix chemicals with different temps of water to see what results you get...lol...chemistry set for real life!)
When W took over completely some of these a few years ago, (cooking and laundry, for example) and a lot of outside (yard decisions, etc) I DID feel cut out, lacking control, just a paycheck...etc, so probably some resentment as I wanted to be the perfect example for my sons of men who cook, clean, do laundry...so eventually I sorta "gave up", which led to less than helpful coping skills...which led to...which led to...you know how these chain reactions go...
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
