GWN, I'm glad the "visit" went well and he was able to get his "stuff".
As for his questions, etc., it sounds to me like he felt very comfortable being in your presence today. His making small talk was to show you that he is moving on w/his life and he wanted you to know that he's staying busy and in touch w/his daughter.
My first thought was that he wanted to put on the "good guy" mask in front of his friend so that his friend can tell people that the two of you are friends and you have accepted the split. But the more I thought about it, it could be that he 1)thinks that if he remains friendly, you will be easier to manipulate down the road on other issues concerning the divorce; or 2)still wants to have a toe in both ponds, just in case his new life doesn't work out, he can still have you waiting in the wings. It's hard to tell w/these mlcers exactly what is their MO.
I do know this, the less you question or ruffle their feathers, the less you will see the spew and anger when they are around Right now, your h got what he wanted and he was a happy camper.
One little piece of advice, the next time you are baking when he comes over, don't offer him anything...let him go home thinking about the aroma and what he could have had to eat if he had been living at home.
BTW, I think he wants a friendship w/you, but on his terms. I also think that you were far better off w/him being cordial, etc., than an angry man. You do not want that kind of behavior going on in front of witness because there is no guarantee that you could have kept it together like you did today. I'm very proud w/the way you handled the situation.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
