Had some sad feelings last night and was surprised by them. I think I got so used to feeling strong for the past few days that the "how did I get here" feeling blindsided me a bit. I was assured by a DB friend that it is natural and will pass, and the strength comes back.
I can honestly say that it is back this morning after a good nights sleep.
H texted me this morning, a good friend of ours passed away suddenly and he wanted me to know the services were in the paper this morning.
He asked me a few times via text "how are you" and I responded to texts about the kids only and kept it upbeat.
He then said "i noticed you are not answering the question about how you are, does that mean you are not ok"
I responded "I have a very good support system should I need them, and I hope to not need them often :)"
He said "thats good, and you can talk to me you know..if you want"
I responded "I have to finish cleaning and making salad for my girls brunch, enjoy the rest of your weekend. The kids are around later if you want to reach them"
He said "ok have a good day"
I was talking to my father earlier and have some concerns about letting him come here every other weekend. I think it may be confusing for the kids as they do their own thing, working and friends. It may be a chance for H to come here with drinking buddies and I don't want the kids exposed to that anymore. He makes S17 pick up S15 because he can't drive, gets belligerent with S17 and slurs his words. I am having trouble with it.
My fathers suggestion was to talk to him this week about it, he is only 5 miles up the road. Why can't he pick them up for the day, dinner, whatever they want. He can have both days, but let the kids sleep at home and he can sleep at his friends or the boat. S17 drives so I won't have to worry about them getting in a car with him. I have a few days to figure out how to approach it. He is coming here Tuesday to bbq with kids and needs to go over some paperwork with me.
after a good nights sleep.
