PC, I've been reading your posts. I can relate to your sitch (or perhaps your wife's sitch moreso.) I can also relate to your Christian beliefs.
You wanted some more women to chime in. You might regret asking that, in my case. But your W's not asking for advice, so we only have YOU to work on. One of the principles of DB is making yourself into a man that only a fool would leave. Are you that man? REALLY? Have you gotten the plank out of your own eyes so that you can see clearly the speck in hers?
My sitch: My H claims to be a devout Christian. He goes to church every Sunday, sometimes two services/two churches; sometimes also on Saturday night; Bible study once a week besides; men's fraternity; etc. He could talk just as good of a game as you do. And then there's his REAL life. I've witnessed his pornography, his lying, his annihilation of my character to his family behind my back, his email exchanges with his college sweetheart, his valuing his siblings and kids (my steps) over me, defending them and attacking me, his irresponsibility with finances, etc. He beats his chest about being God's ordained "leader of the family," then runs away with his tail between his legs whenever an issue arises, leaving me to carry it on my own.
I've read your beginning post again, after reading your most recent. What I pulled from it was: you lived together and had sex before marriage; you had a child before marriage; you got married in the courthouse rather than a church; she confronted you about her feelings but you chose not to do anything different; you pushed her away at times when she attempted to be intimate because you were angry with her; you find it difficult to do your 180's.
I appreciate your honesty in your first post, and I'm not trying to wring you out to dry for your known sins. But from my perspective, it all sounds very hypocritical. You speak so strongly of being a devoted Godly man, but I'm not seeing that played out in your day-to-day life. Even the "effort" you're putting into cleaning the house and taking care of your son comes off as being a real chore. You have an issue with doing the cleaning, and you've mentioned your resentment. This is not a Godly response (re: prodigal son.) This is also an issue I have with my H -- my position is that if it's something you'd still have to do if your W wasn't in the picture at all, then I don't feel like it's something that you get kudos for doing now.
From my experience with my H, "talking" about being a Godly man when you're not living a Godly life is a real turn-off, to both the relationship and a spiritual life.
Granted, your W is being very immature and irresponsible. She is not leading what anyone would describe as a Christian life. Though I doubt she's even making that claim herself. I'm wondering if you helped create that sitch? Your W was asking for affection and you were denying it because of her going out, then you simply re-enforced her desire to go out where people were attentive and kind to her. So she did that more. So you got more angry. So she did it more. Etc., etc.
So, some specifics...
If you don't want your S going to MIL's, then set him up for scheduled daycare, either commercial or other arrangements. You can't fix FIL/MIL's problems.
Stay in the master bed. If she doesn't like it she can sleep somewhere else. If S is in the bed, too, (maybe he shouldn't be? That's an intimacy killer.) then gently pick him up and put him in his own bed/bedroom, then return to the master bed yourself. She can sleep somewhere else if she wants.
As for chores, if I had been carrying the majority of the load for most of our relationship, and H started doing "his share," I could really care less. All that would do is keep us at status quo and not make things worse. But when you're already at the bottom, what difference does that make? Are you familiar with the concept of love banks, with emotional deposits and withdrawals? You are highly overdrawn, and simply making the minimum payment is not going to help your sitch.
Bottomline, I feel like you're spending too much time focusing on your W's behavior and wrong-doings, and not focused enough on your own. What is your REAL motivation for getting her back? What are your 180's? Other than doing chores, how is "focusing on God" playing itself out in your day-to-day life?
But your W's not asking for advice, so we only have YOU to work on. One of the principles of DB is making yourself into a man that only a fool would leave. Are you that man? REALLY? Have you gotten the plank out of your own eyes so that you can see clearly the speck in hers?