Is this cake eating 5

[adinva]

Be careful where you go with that theory. First, you're mind reading. But more important, are you going to now jump to answer the phone so that he won't retaliate on the kids? (I hope the answer is no.)

He needs to form his relationship with the kids without you trying to control it. You don't know for sure there's a straight line between your decreased availability and his inconsideration to his S.

I've talked to my counselor a lot about my desire to make sure my H is there for his kids, and what she advised me was to be open to talking with the kids, ask questions based on what I observe, see how they're doing and if they want any advice on how to handle it. Encourage them to share their feelings with their dad. It's a fine line because I don't want to suggest to them that their dad is being a turd, but I want them to feel free to have that opinion for themselves and deal directly with their dad on it.