Spinning, neglect, loss and the bomb

[ouroboros]

If it's individual counselling - knock yourself out and it would be good to get it all off your chest.

If it's MC and you are together, your W will not thank you for bringing it up in that environment and won't help your situation. IMO if you are going to bring it up and want to talk to her about it, do it at home.

I've talked all about it in IC. After the past week, I'm wondering about finding a gentle way to talk about it in MC.

But before you do ask her - ask yourself some questions.
How do you think she'll react?
Will it do anything to benefit you situation or the way you are feeling?
Am I ready to handle this difficult conversation without it doing any more damage to my sitch?
She might have been on the fence about seeing this OP again, but will my conversation influence her choices in the way that you want?

I'm just having a ridiculously hard time with the deceit. I asked her directly the day after the bomb and she said there was noone else.

But, I'm thinking that this has become a rather serious EA and if I can somehow get it out of hiding, at least she'll have to own up to it. I guess what I'm wondering is if I can get it out there and open, it would be a little more "real" to her I think and less of a special secret fantasy?

It would be a very difficult conversation, which is why I was trying to get ideas how to bring it to light in MC.