Warning, I'm about to rant! So, I'm scared, my anger is building... tired of being talked to like I am despised, there is NO reason for it! He knows where the door is if he wants to leave so freaking badly! I am so angry I just want to go back to his room and start knocking sh!t over! I know, bad idea, and I would never really do that, but that's how freaking angry I am!
I don't even know why I'm so angry, just his tone I guess, because I don't deserve it. I mean all I did was go out to the living room to get a Netflix movie to watch back in "my" room and he asked, harshly, if I wanted that tv, I cheerfully replied no thank you and went on my merry way. He proceeded to come back and tell me, again in an agitated tone, I already watched the Netflix movies I wanted to see so you can send them back when you watch them. All I said was thank you for letting me know. He's like I did tell you now, I forgot. I just looked at him and said, that's why I thanked you, and I went back to what I was doing and he walked away. Then I ended up taking the movie back out there cause I didn't realize how long it was (I'm getting up early tomorrow to go do the Autism walk).
Last night I paid the cable bill, he was nice enough to thank me for that, even though his tone was icy cold. I don't know why, the only bills he has left to pay are the mortgage, and insurance, plus HIS school loans and HIS midlife credit card (I mean the credit card he told me was for in case of emergencies and I didn't need to worry about it, must have had a lot of emergencies). Anyway, he's gonna have to realize at some point he's going to still have bills when he would leave, not to mention paying me, so it's not gonna all be rainbows and sunshine without me, I am NOT the freaking problem!!!! Again, AAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!
Walking by him tonight I just felt rage running through me, and that is not who I am. I don't like it, and I have to figure out some way of dealing with the unfair way he is treating me. Being projected onto stinks! I just can't get past how one day things were fine and the next I'm the enemy. But to him it seems perfectly logical.... of course he's mentally ill right now, but still thinking about that doesn't help. I just want this nightmare to end! Hell I want everyone's nightmare to end, I would never wish this on anyone, not even my worst enemy (if I had one).
Ok... so on the positive side.... I had 2 co-workers, at separate times, tell me how nice I look today. Which was strange cause I wasn't wearing anything new or anything, I did get my hair cut and highlighted in Salem, but they all had already seen that. So it was just nice to have people say positive things about me. The one said I look really pretty today, I thanked her, and she's like was that strange to say. lol I said no, she's like, not that you don't look good any other day, but today you look really pretty. I thought that was very nice. It helps me to remember I really am a good person and there are people who want to be around me. I also keep looking at my note cards with all of my strengths written on them, my counselor had me make those, good thing.
Ok, so typing all this has helped calm me down some, as well as listening to some inspirational music.... gotta love Matthew West. So thanks everyone in DB-land for letting me vent my frustrations.
The one said I look really pretty today, I thanked her, and she's like was that strange to say. lol I said no, she's like, not that you don't look good any other day, but today you look really pretty. I thought that was very nice. It helps me to remember I really am a good person and there are people who want to be around me. 
