I normally write on my stepson's FB page, telling him to have a good day, I love him, miss him, etc. Well his mother responded to the one I posted this week: 'Ro, I'm so happy you love my baby. That really gives me great comfort when I know he is going to be with the two of you for extended stays. I truly can say the feeling is genuine on his part...sometimes he stomps away saying "I'm going to stay with Ro!"...Okay...not his dad, but Ro...lol. All I can do is laugh.'
This is one of the issues my H said he had with me, and one of the main reasons he's leaving. When we first got together he wanted me to have this close relationship with my stepson. I would call, my SS would barely talk, etc. So I told H I wasn't going to try again. He has been holding this against me since then - at least 2+ years ago. Since last summer, when my SS came to stay for a week or so, we've gotten closer. H and I acutally kind of got into it while he was here about me not spending enough time with him. I told him I was trying.
I talked to my counselor about it, and she helped me see one of the reasons was because I didn't think I was good enough to be his stepmother. (I have mother issues myself, which led to this revelation) This all came out when H and I talked the other night. He asked me why I didn't tell him that's how I felt? I said at first I didn't even know that's what it was. I asked him why he didn't tell me that it was bothering him that much FOR SO LONG. He didn't have an answer. I told him even though I felt like I wasn't good enough, I tried the best I could, and now SS and I are so much better...closer. I love that kid as my own.
I basically busted out crying when I saw his mother's message. It made me feel good that I was able to work through (for the most part) my own mother issues, in order to be the kind of stepmother he deserves. And my H thinks my SS will be totally okay when we tell him that we're separating.
