@BeingMe: Thank you for the well wishes! I’ll have company this time while waiting to be called. My sister will be visiting and has volunteered to keep me company. I am good for the most part. Oh there is still a little hiccup and that rollercoaster runs occasionally, but these days it seems as though it is a kiddie ride that ends quickly. I hope you are doing well.
Remembering those who have struggled against great odds for a cause honors their memory. They set an example of conduct. Will we? It is a concept instilled during trainings past, one that I needed to be reminded of. That is when my attitude began to adjust. When I stopped lamenting my plight and began to heal. Each of us draws upon our own strengths to become whole again. We receive advice and support, but the work belongs to the individual.
Journaling: At the last meeting I wrote a check to W for her half of the Fed tax refund. I made a mistake; the amount on the check did not match the description. It was a human error. I was under a little stress when I wrote it out. W returned the check to me with a brief factual note of the error and a SASE.
When I posted the envelope I noted she listed herself in the address as MRS. Odd as previously she has used her given name. It means nothing! At this time last year I would have attached great significance to this minor aberration. Now at this stage it is at best something to note.
After work today I will help SIL1 move some furniture she has purchased privately. Life is beginning to return to normal on the in-law front. I was a little worried how that would end up after the sh!t storm W made over my participation in the family Christmas rituals.
Recently I participated in several meetings working closely with a married female co-worker. We work well together and she praised our accomplishments and my contributions up her chain of command. We both perceive value in continuing to work together on this project.
Of course this made me feel good and I spent time reflecting upon all of the emotions I felt these last few days. I am attracted to her, wholly inappropriate I know. There is good and bad in this. That I am healing enough to begin feeling again is good; however the depth of feeling and that it is about a married co-worker or a co-worker for that matter means I am not healed enough. I suspect this means if I were to begin dating and someone were to show interest I would become infatuated. This would be disastrous. I have more healing, more growing to do, more life to live.
I have added another item to the bucket list. It is too far off to begin planning so it’ll sit in the bucket for a few years yet. The centennial anniversary of the Battle of Belleau Wood is a little over 6 years off. Whether it is acknowledged locally or not I will visit the memorials summer 2018.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
