Thanks for your support - it really helps in times like these to know that you guys understand.
I've been pretty down the last couple of days.
So low, in fact, that I haven't been able to bring myself to answer the phone when I see it's H ringing.
Conditioned response, I suppose: when he contacts me it's usually painful.
So, three missed calls since yesterday.
And all I feel is a sense of relief.
What does this say about my commitment to db-ing?
I feel more and more like I am simply dragging out the agony. I can't heal from this with H around all the time. I keep thinking: if only he'd just disappear.
