the path is the goal...

[zig]

that's exactly what i want to do - labug

i've realized that ever since this sitch started, i have expected h to leave me alone - completely expected that and he has literally hounded me. i was still caught up in the web, but now i feel as if i am waking up

i am relieved that he is getting a more permanent house - deep deep down, every time there has been a hint of maybe he wants to come back, i realize now, that i actually started getting anxious, and now i am beginning to see why.

it's taken watching mil doing what she is doing for me to see the real truth of the messed up dynamics here -

after i posted i left a message at the IC's office asking if i could have an appointment today - maybe i'll get lucky and there's a cancellation

i'm not going to do anything or say anything. i do know that this weekend since cousins are in town - who s really adores, - it will come up at the last minute that we should go over and hang out there- i didn't know until yesterday that they were here, and even though usually plans are set in advance, i think mil is in such a state that she didn't even think of telling me.

i have already filled up the weekend for s and me, in an attempt to GAL and so will have to face h's reaction when i say no we won't be there - it will be a first for him - he's depending on me being FULLY co-operative in continuing all these things that make him really comfortable - how convenient for him that i have been doing it so well until now and with a smile on my face - just like his mom

thanks for your calm words labug- and yes kd's message is clear to me, as is yours - all i'm thinking about is how to just keep moving forward , completely independent of h and his family - it is at the forefront of my mind.

zig