golf mom, I am sorry that your h is acting like an utter butt. Your h, in his mind, doesn't feel that he has done anything wrong. Yes, mlcers do think that we should have been able to read their minds many months ago...but unfortunately, that isn't something we could have done. They should have told us what was on their minds, but they chose to remain silent and deal w/their misery a different way.
I am sorry that your son received messages from your h describing what he perceives as right. Your h doesn't understand or want to understand why your son is not in communication w/him. Your h can't even begin to understand that you haven't demonized him to your son, because in his mind that is what he thinks you have done...why? Because that is most likely what he's done to you when speaking to others about the situation.
This behavior is called "justification for what he's done". He is trying to justify to your son why he walked away and unfortunately, your son will eventually get disgusted and block his calls/texts or tell him to stop. Yes, this is typical mlc behavior and he will continue to use your son until your son puts an end to it or the time comes when you can state enough is enough. Believe me, the time will come and when that door opens, you will need to advise him that he shouldn't be doing such things via your son.
I know that this behavior is unacceptable and difficult to swallow, but you've got to find a way to let it go for now. You know that you have not demonized your h to your son and you can hold your head up high. Your son knows the truth and that is all that matters.
Hang in there!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
