Not sure where to start, Part 2

[wishing, hoping]

Venting:

So H calls and wants to buy D a new bike for an Easter present. Honestly we had discussed this months ago but with everything going on I never bothered to remind him. I wanted to see if he would remember On his own. To his credit he did. On the way to the store he was talking with me like he hardly ever dIRS anymore. Telling me about work and the school board etc. D picked out her bike and we left I ordered pizza while H went to the hardware store. We ate dinner and D and I played some Sequence while H napped in his chair.

It is so rare for me to see moments like this anymore with H. I miss the way he used to be. I miss the way he used to make me laugh. I miss his dancing eyes. In the past year they just look tired and dead. I miss his jokes. I miss his flirting. I miss him. It is so hard to act as if during moments like this. I just want to shake him back to reality. But I just lovingly distance even though I am fighting every urge to just hold on tight.

Give me strength!!!