We started marriage counseling & now he wants out

[25yearsmlc]

what's with helping him to move? Why not simply express surprise that he'd go over the amount you both supposedly agreed upon? (AND see the L asap before he spends even more. If the debt gets split that means half of the over spending will be on you...gee, kinda-makes you want to get a flatscreen...

WHy would YOU order boxes for him? Although I get that you want to be strong, do not aid him in leaving you and your children. Plus it sure lets him off the hook. LET HIM FACE the music...

I am not sure about this next comment but this is how it strikes me at the moment-- stop telling him that thanks to YOU the kids will be fine...

Despite him, you and the kids will be fine down the road. But he is doing some damage for sure.

The upside is that if your choices are liviing with a man like this and acting like this, the rest of your life

or building a new happier more balanced life, w/the possibility of a smart strong man in the future -OR NOT- then yes you sure will be better off.
ANd that is all up to you, not your h.

So be strong but don't tell him about it. Remember the 37 "rules" and that you have had an awakening--

you will be fine no matter what HE does. HE does not decide your mood tonight or happiness tomorrow or how your life goes.

YOU DO. You are in charge of your happiness.

I didn't get why the increased cost made you want him out sooner-b/c it's irritating? I get that...


Oh the marriage counselor on The First Wives Club (the movie itself is hilarious and empowering for women w/a great ending) but the "marriage counselor" was the OW of one of the wive's h's...and she "counselled the both"...

I was being sarcastic, sorry!


Back to earth-
Let him make his big boy choices and move out on his own but see a L asap. He is already spending more than you two can afford (Plus HIS legal fees and yours)

so if I were him (but rational) I would not sign a long term lease b/c SOON you will be getting a chunk of that paycheck and he needs to adapt to that reality. The sooner, the better.

That's the one downside of women handling finances--the WAHs always think there's more than there is...for THEM...

I'd also expect him to plan more fun trips for himself and his buddies & spending like it's not a problem. Many of his buddies will be older losers who are thrice divorced OR fun, single and younger. Ironically, he may notice that a lot of them are looking for what he just left behind...

((( )))