Rick I have been reading your thread as well as others. In my situation it has taking me nearly 2 years for me to be where you are at. My D was final last October and until recently, I was still in a path of destruction. I would follow MWD 's advice and somehow screw it up. I found that I would always try to justify my actions to suit my sitch. Guess what I found out , that after redaing and being on these boards for over two years. It 's the vets on here that I never listened too., and when I did things were good. They were good for me and good for my sitch even though I know that I will never get back my ex.' Now with being said reading and lurking on here for some length of time, everyone seems to be of the same opinion, each of us know when enough is enough. I am at that point in my sitch right now. I will forever be sorry for all the pain I have caused not only my ex but my girls. I have rebuilt my relationship with them and now that's all that matters to me. My T has told me from the beginning that I will know. So its off and running for me now. I have great children, I have a great job, I have met and fostered many new relationships outside of my circle of friends. So my friend I will say this even though my M was not able to be saved I am a new man and I am very happy with him now. During my M I was the one who just provided for my family, on the outside things looked real good, deep down inside they were not. So now I have a new path with me being a new man. One day I may find love again, I want it to be right. After all the soul searching we all do on here, we will survive. I keep up with everyone on here on a daily basis and almost never reply, however since we started our group its brought new life back into me for these boards that actually saved me.
Scott
Scott...that is so great to hear you have reached a place of peace! I find that in reaching that place, there will still be moments of intense sadness for the losses, but its very different from the bomb days. It's like you can accept it now and while there's pain, you still know your heart and mind have reconciled the truth.
Like you, I remember reading the vets posts to me and others and sometimes I would get the words in the mind but certainly not in the heart. For me, I just kept facing it everyday until it all began to fit.
