the path is the goal...

[zig]

I know this is journalling and exploring but watch out for trying to fix him.

i was very conscious of that while i was writing - but i guess i still gave that impression - i DON'T want to fix him or help him fix these things - i just want to support him in it

i have more than enough to fix within myself - and i am going to focus on that only.

no suggestions if he talks about it about what he could do etc., i am only going to point to what i am experiencing as i learn about myself, if it comes up

during the appointment, i did tell the therapist how only when i saw myself in my son, and how he used anger, did i start to see how he had learned it from me and that's when i started working on myself - over 2 years ago - it took a long time for me to change my angry responses - that were almost automatic (habit) and replace them with calm, constructive responses - and it took even longer for my son to recognize that i had changed - he was so used to me responding impatiently that even when i didn't he assumed i was.

i know h was listening intently.

more and more i am realizing how this really works - placing the positive changes in myself so that they are real, is the only thing i need to focus on - the rest will follow - but it takes a lot of time

today i am focusing on "reach for the better feeling thought"

thanks labug for the tips and what truegritter wrote - that really helps