Write down everything you're feeling about your sitch right now. You should expect to swing back to wanting him back very badly, and it may help to review later what you write down now. I'm sorry you had such a painful night, although sometimes it does feel great to say what you need to say and get it off your chest.
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015