Needing some guidance... 2

[jks]

You are all going to be so not proud of me but I went to OW's house tonight to see if my H would be there. Seeing as how he ended things with me today I knew that he would now find it ok to continue his affair with her. Well, because the neighbor across the street tells me when she sees his car and he knows that, I knew that he wouldn't park it in front of her house. So I drove around the block and lo and behold, there was his car parked a block away.

So I immediately went to her house at 11:30 at night and rang her doorbell because I knew that they were both in there. I called his phone and hers and texted him to please come out. He finally came out and I was irate.

It was raining so I went inside and argued with him for a good hour with her standing by the side putting her two cents in. I wanted to throw her through the window so many times. I'm actually quite glad that I was able to say all the things that I wanted to because it opened my eyes to a lot.

My H stated that he doesn't believe that we ever had that strong of a connection. And the connection that he has with OW is something he's never experienced before. His values in the religion that we belong to have completely diminished. He doesn't feel the same way about it at all. This is huge to me and is definitely something that I know I would never be able to get over.

All in all, I'm feeling like I can finally let go of him. He's been lying to me for so long about who he really is and so therefore I don't really know him. And this person that he's become is not the person I would want to be married to anyway. I truly mean this. And with the way his family has been treating me, I'm actually feeling like I can let go of them too.

This was my way of getting that release. And I really feel ok about it.