well I am new here but loving EVERYTHING I am reading about DBing,right term? Anyway,will be brief here,my W lives in another country N(up north) and the only way we have contact is via email,Instant message,or occasional phone,anyway,I just want everyone to know,being patience,no R talk,etc seems to be working,now with that,sghe also sees that I am making plans for my future in a subtle way.this was via instant message tonight btw,anyway,I first mentioned I was gointg to file soon(not for divorce)but for something else,anyway this startled her a bit,then mentioned I was going to apply for a few jobs outside of where I am now and something she knows is me moving on with my life,this also didn't seem to thrill her much at all,though a small step,an encouraging one certainly not a big deal though,for a few times in recent past,there was to be no communication between us,then there was,and is,and she put me back onto her IM buddy list,so this is encouraging but am not initiating much at all. We both have a passion and it's dogs,though I lost all but one from separation,I don't harbor any bad feelings towards her for this,hurts yes but I accept my faults and responsibility for our situation. A little background on us,we were married in June 03,and separated in Jan this yr(pathetic ya say?) all we did was fight since the marriage,both at fault here mind you,and believe me they weren't pretty,nothing physical thank the lord! I do however love her immensely,and want very much for us both to get it together and make a real go of it,but realise it will take time for us both to change,and I think we both are working on this issue though alone(though she is getting counseling,not much mind you,she has no clue I am reading the book nor am a member of this,but told her I was reading a book on a dream of mine but wouldn't tell her what it was for now. I know I am rambling but believe me reading all the posts gives me hope,and am seeing more and more good coming from no talk about the relationship,no begging,pleading etc. My gosh why didn't I find this book BEFORE now??? Thank you,will give more detail of our marriage if needed,but I DO have a question for all,how do I go about expressing my unconditional love for her without it backfiring in my face?And maybe some things I may say to her to reassure her of my feelings without appearing pushy also,or just the fact that we speak is enough? thanks for your time and hope to hear opinions!!!!
