I wanted to share something, it may sound trivial but Im proud of myself that I see this.
I always thank XH for whatever effort he's put in to helping with the kids. I may do it grinding my teeth but I do thank him because it's the right thing to do. A month ago he sent me pictures of the kids having a snow day. I thanked him. Then we all know about the Easter Egg hunt he was trying to bust his butt over. I thanked him. I thank him every time he pays the support. I thank him when he lets me know his schedule. I thank him alot for many other small things, it's just who I am.
I sent him Easter pictures of the kids Sunday.
He did not thank me.
Now Im not keeping score here, but it dawned on me those things used to bother me so much.He never could thank me for random acts of kindness. I never understood why and how he became so rude and inconsiderate. His expectations of me in how he wanted me to react to his random acts of kindness seem very unrealistic to me. Yet when I reciprocate the same thing he's done for me ( send pictures) he doesn't even say thank you.
Why would I want to be with a man that can't even thank someone for sending him pictures of his own children on a Holiday?
I guess where Im kinda proud of myself is where the rose colored glasses are coming off again and I can really start to see him realistically again. You know I've really had an emotional time having to cope with having him so present in our lives recently. But I think things happen for a reason. I think I needed this to come back to the reality of what really was in our relationship, and see that if we ever reconcilled, it would be nothing but more of the same.
