looking for hope

[chatterbug]

I cannot stress. Document everything. Document every application, every interview.

Document each time you get any hassles following the schedule. Each time either of you have to switch times and the reason why.


To answer your question.

You both need to come to an agreement on when to ask about your son. As he is 2 years old he is not really going to be able to communicate everything to you. So most of this communication is really between the two of you.

You and your wife need to experience going a few days without knowing. As this is the path she decided to take. So why not let her experience this path.

I am not saying to be an a55 or anything. But you have to limit your time. As it resets the clock for the both of you.

It will be tough. But during that time away. Work on yourself. Journal.

Your son will be fine with either of you. This is something you will both have to learn.

Calling and talking all the time will only confuse everyone. And upset the child.

So limit it to emergencies.

This is the reality your wife says she wants. So let her experience it.

Think of it not being hostile but showing tough love and the experience of loss.

She needs to feel the loss of her son and husband so she can begin to understand what her choice has done to the family. Failure of this allows her to follow her path without experiencing the consequences of her choices.

It will be tough. But I think it will be the right choice to come to an agreement with her on contact while following the schedule. Then stick to it.

I would do all this communication in writing. As all future communication as well.

Document everything.

It is so important.

Now I have a question for you.

Can you list the advice that you think is hostile to your wife.

And can you look it over and question if it is one of the following.

1. Hostile to your wife.
2. Hostile to your wife's wellbeing.
3. Hostile to your wife's actions.
4. Hostile to your wife's ability to get what she wants.
5. Hostile to your wife's thoughts on how things should be.
6. Hostile to yourself.

Then really think about it. You may see that some of advice that bother's you the most affect # 4,5

If its 1,2,6 then you do not follow that advice.