Juz thinking out loud here, hope it helps somehow. The brain doesn't care what kind of thought you put in there, as long as a thought goes in. Human beings always look for why something happens and much of the time that's a good thing. We want to figure it out so it won't happen again or be able to repeat it if it was a good thing. When we can't explain something we look for any explanation because it tends to make us feel more secure. You have equated looking after yourself as the cause of your husbands affair. So what you're telling yourself is that if you take care of yourself he will leave you. Does that make any logical sense at all? Now, what it does tell you is that you must pay attention to your relationship (assuming your lack of attention actually had anything to do with it). I'ts not an all or nothing thing. You can take care of you and take care of your relationship. There is a middle ground. Find it. If your health deteriorates due to weight issues will that preserve your relationship? Don't think so!
