I read some of your posts on this thread. I think you sorta need to follow his lead a bit. Not call at all till he calls you. Make him miss you a bit and KNOW what its like without you there all the time. When he pops his head in, then don't just jump at it since he gets scared and backs all the way off. Sorta keep your distance till he is home and knows he wants to be and isn't changing his mind so much.
Sometimes you don't know what it is you want till its gone. It seems so in your case with your H. If he felt you pulling away slowly he will do something to lure you back. But I wouldn't take the bait, just play it till he offers more concrete proof he knows who he is and what he wants.
He seems to like a chase. That is his way of being in control. Its okay to give a taste what he would be missing but get him to realize that is what he would be missing. When he sees you, there isn't any pressure or R talk. That can be done later. But it seems to scare him when there is pressure. And it could be by whom he is talking to besides you. It seems this is a problem he has within himself.
Act as if you would DATE him but not want to get back together. That your having fun. Let him be the more responsible one taking care of himself in a way. Maybe name some simple ways that you could detach with things he could do by himself. He will then realize all you had done for him and what it would be like without you there. This is what he is wanting. But I find it hard to give someone benefits of married life of doing for them but then not participating in it either.
The more you detach, the less confused you will be in his drama. You could relook at it with more open eyes. No pressures of R talk, not controlling since your letting him control his own life...hence not doing it all for him letting him handle his own business.....Can't accuse you of controlling if you step away from that part. You know once in a while isn't bad cause you may do it for a friend. But to do it consistantly and then get no credit for it is rude on his part. He shouldn't ask if he wants to do it on his own.
