I received an email from my MIL that was really sweet. She said:
hi DIL,
happy birthday to you and all the best for the coming year.. hope you'll have a lovely day.
We had great easter holidays with good food and cakes, but honestly, most of the time we were talking about you two. he still has a lot of feelings for you and he is very sad for the being situation.
i do hope, that both of you can work it out and come to a reasonable solution.
lots of love ...
I have to say I felt really good to read that email.
Ok, so here I am wondering - well, he was the one who walked out. He rejects 90% of any suggestions I make, either to reconcile or to do small things together. You all know I've just stood back from all that now.
We really are like two groundhogs.
So here we are two people who clearly love each other but just can't sort ourselves out (in terms of insecurities).
I don't make offerings anymore coz I'm tired of the rejections - and I told him that too. I'm also weary of his lack of boundaries with other women (which stems from his people-pleasing nature). Though he hasn't done anything to cross the line (to my knowledge) he does walk too close to the fence for my liking. In this situation, I wonder if there is an AE going on - though my snooping has not proved that in any way.
He is weary of my outbursts. Mind you, 65% of my outbursts come when his boundaries are 'scattered', and the incidents linger and linger and never get resolved so they all pile up after a while.
We clearly need a counselor on this issue, but I am also weary of counselors. The last one we had - while she was excellent for individual matters - was not all that great when it came to relationship solutions. After he announced he was 'Done!" and well out the door, she was like, "Two fire signs don't belong together." She might have been saying that to make me feel better, but I'm sorry - what kind of diagnosis is that??!! We do have a lot of 'fire' in our relationship, but I always felt it was just right - it never went over the edge and in the good times, we experienced lots of excitement and energy together. We have an excellent balance of action and intellect and emotion. He truly is nearly perfect for me - only he needs to get his boundaries sorted out!!! But then, maybe I too need to learn to communicate in such a way that will get him to take heed.
