PMA is really low today - actually has been the last week. Quite a crash down from thinking H was moving home to this. I hate not seeing or talking to H - makes me worried that he is planning behind my back - filing for D or something. He stopped by Friday nite to drop off check for truck pmt. Says he won't talk to me because he didn't appreciate how I talked to him last time we spoke...??? Not sure what he is getting at. I know I was upset from him blowing me off about some issues we need to discuss. I just have a hard time w/ how he gets mad at how I handle sitations sometimes, but there is nothing wrong w/ him ignoring me, not calling & not being very nice when he talks to me sometimes.
Finally spilled my guts to a good friend yesterday. I think she pretty much thinks that it is time for me to move on but accepts I want to hang in there still. She said something that I have been thinking about alot lately - that it is almost like H distances himself from me because if he sees & talks to me, he might question his decision. I just get scared because w/ him it seems to be "out of sight, out of mind". I don't know how I am going to get a chance to interact w/ him anytime soon.
Have been thinking about calling to set up a phone consulation - need something to get out of this black hole I am living in right now.
