New trying to DB-Help!

[jlove]

I was looking back over your past several posts and see that OM is still attempting contact via FB. If your RTRV weekend proves successful, you may want to consider discussing with your W that in order to rebuild trust between the two of you that she must be completely transparent AND that she must cut off all contact with OM. This would include sending a letter or calling OM in your presence and demanding that he never contact her again. This is of course your call, but it would seem like a necessary next step if you are to get your R back to a healthy place.

Best of luck to you!

Thanks for the kind thoughts!!! She is not friends with OM on FB anymore, but he just sends her a message from time to time. I have discussed it with her before and she says she has not instigated them or returned them. 3 months ago, she sent him a reply that I read that she was working on M and for him to not contact her any further. He responded that he would honor her wishes, blah, blah, blah. But, he has sent her at least one more "I miss u, etc." since then. She claims it was the only one.

I agree, NO CONTACT is in order, and I had planned to ask her if Retrouvaille is successful to permanently block him from messages on FB, so if he does send her one, she'll never see it. I think she's trying her best. He does go into her restaurant from time to time, so that contact I don't know how to avoid but want to get to the place where she can tell me about it and tell him that it's over between them and to find someone else. i cannot force that, and for us to rebuild this, i will have to trust her and she will have to make those moves on her own.

She is looking for other work, so hopefully that'll end that. She is a Christian, and she knows what she did was wrong, so I think I have to let her walk those steps on her own, if that makes sense?

Thanks again!!!