the path is the goal...

[zig]

thanks labug - i'll see if the library has them


I expect him to want to talk about things because that's what I want. Not the case.

that's the crux of my problem isn't it?

i just have to let things be - why can't that just enter my head.i'm pressuring them both sub-consciously aren't i, and in return suffering tremendously

thanks for guiding me through this labug, and everyone else - don't know what i would do without all of you - there is a consistent message here, whereas around me, i am getting so many conflicting opinions and advice that my head is spinning

i know, i keep reading here that i shouldn't listen to what family and friends are telling me, but it's really hard.

i've got one friend who is really down on h and gave me an earful about him coming over and letting him mow the lawn etc. then i've got mil telling me to let him come take care of his responsibilities and he needs to be told off (but she's not going to do it), my brother screaming divorce and not talking to me because i'm enabling h by not telling everyone about the A

meanwhile i'm trying to DB and probably breaking all the rules.

he sat there yesterday and told the therapist quite confidently how great we get along and even hang out together and he has even come over to my house for parties, and it made me sick to my stomach - i thought i was going to throw up.

and then i wonder - is my friend right - i let him into my life and try to be friends and what is the message that he is getting here.

is it better to let him be around and focus on having positive experiences together, like we did last weekend - or is it better to stay away , not accept his invitations and not invite him over and politely refuse his help with things around the house?

even last night on the phone he kept harping on about how it was such a good idea that we are separated and he really likes me - i thought i was going to throw up again - i can't bear to hear him talk like that

i'm majorly off track here and can't see the forest for the trees.