the path is the goal...

[zig]

thanks nemo. your'e right about just being there, and as labug says, not being the fixer. i think i have been trying to fix things too much with s and need to sot that


if you son is angry, don't try to change that, but validate, "I understand why you're angry, I get angry about this situation, too."

not to keep pressing the point here - but the problem is that son gets crazy if i so much as imply that he is having any emotion - one is not allowed to refer to any emotion positive or negative and imply in any way that he is feeling that.

i've even had him getting mad at me because i've said ooh that must have made you feel good. it's worse when it's a negative emotion - if i try to acknowledge that he is disappointed about something, i find myself in the throes of a long crazy argument 10 yr old style.

i've learned to step back a little when it starts now, and not get pulled in. so i'm getting better at it.

i spoke to s last night and we talked about some little fun things to do this afternoon as he's with me from 3 to 6. he seemed pleased about my suggestions, so i am looking forward to spending 3 hours relaxing with him. i think just like with h, i have to have no expectations with s.

hope you're having a good day too
zig