Do you think that this might be H's way of being in control of the situation or am I way off base? This is what I am thinking:
I was in the mode of not having very high expectations of him - I talked to him almost everyday, he stopped by the house, he had been around at least some the last few weekends. He was doing most of this on his own. I of course wanted everything to move faster, but I felt pretty comfortable that things were moving forward, but I didn't want to push because then he will back off.
I was very surprised when he called me up 3 weeks ago late on Friday night & said he thought it was time for him to come home. We talked for a little bit & he came over for the night. The next day he said the subject was dropped now because I had too many "rebuttals" - I guess I was trying to make sure the timing was right so was bringing up some issues. He wasn't mad, just said we would give it some more time. I am torn between wanting him back so I can prove that I am changing & working things out as we go, or waiting until we have discussed some issues, because I don't want to go thru him moving out again. I think I should have just just kept my mouth shut & said ok!
Anyway, last weekend he said he wanted to come back this weekend. He talked about having to tell his roommate, where we were going to put some of his stuff, redecorating, etc. (The house is mine & I think he always felt that I was in control of the decorating. I have since told him that I want it to feel like his house too & I want us to decide together what to do to it) When we talked early in the week, I acted like he was coming home & so did he. He was talking about "when we do this & when we do that.." I talked to him a few minutes Thursday night & asked if he was all set for the weekend. He just said I don't know yet. Now, I haven't heard from him since then & his phone has been off all weekend - dead battery probably since the charger is here.
Was I being pushy? I tend to get all gung ho when I see positives & I think it scares him off again. I tried to be careful but some times even little things send him backwards.
So, I am thinking that maybe this is his way of staying in control of the sitation - he will do it when he is good & ready & I better not have any expectations??
Help!! This is driving me crazy. I just need to remember how thrilled i would have been to be this close a few months ago.
