Needing some guidance... 2

[Accuray]

Yep, before I got cheated on I never believed I would tolerate cheating -- I was sure I'd be right out the door, and that people who stayed after being cheated on were weak.

I think that's a common way to think about it, fueled by books and movies that always represent remorseful spouses who come crawling back with tears in their eyes.

Once I was actually in that position I felt very differently. I had to do a "gut-check" about what I really wanted and why. Once I decided I wanted my family intact, I realized that leaving would actually be the easier choice and it was staying that required great strength and opened the door to personal change. If I didn't pursue the changes "for me" I was pretty sure I would be right back in the same situation with someone new. I also realized that with three kids and property entanglements, there would be no clean break. I'm attached to W and our issues whether we divorce or not.an

I don't think that someone who hasn't gone through it has any chance of understanding and its impossible to explain. You just have to ask that they respect and support your decisions, and trust that you know you are acting in your own best interest.

Accuray