I, too am back to posting these last few weeks after lurking around since Aug. My sitch started last June, and my H is getting ready to leave (Feb 28)...so I am in a very different place. However, I have read, and re-read DR, DB, watched Michele's tapes, had regular counceling, etc on this solution based therapy and have made some headway in my sitch....changes that I have control over.
Now, my suggestion for you....is that it's obvious your H is skeptical about your changes...if they are for real or just an act. And it will take him what 6-8 weeks of consistency of your changed behavior to BELIEVE it might be for real. In other words, your issues...(we all have them and need to change them if we want our M back) need to be real. Don't try to convince him anymore. Show him. Maybe on the financial piece....give him a monthly budget you have been following....show him how you've managed and validate that his income will support the household, plus he can set aside whatever $$$$ for toys,etc. Then leave it alone. Don't aks him about is whereabouts....especially if you are suspicious....let him volunteer the info if he wants. And get a life, even if/when he moves back in. Don't always be around for him. Don't play games either. You know what to do. Keep on DBing....especially after he comes home. Don't slip....or if you do, catch yourself and admit it to him, BEFORE he gets critical. Beat him to the punch, matter of factly and w/o emotion.
You can do this, I'm sure. And I am impressed that he wants to come home now, whatever you are doing...KEEP DOING IT!
