H has been saying that he is ready to move home for the last few weeks. He even told his parents & grandma that he was coming home this next weekend.
I am trying to not get overly excited because I would not be surprised if he backed out at the last minute. I just keep telling myself not to push & to remember that he is closer than he has been in months.
Anyway, today he said we need to talk about finances. One of his problems with me was feeling that I am controlling. I realize I am to a degree but in some ways (like finances), I feel like I need to stand my ground so we don't get in to worse financial shape than we are in now. (being separated, etc. has taken its toll) I am paid on salary & he is paid hourly. He wants to be able to keep any OT money he makes for himself to save for toys, car stuff,etc. I told him that was fine & I realized we need to handle finances differently this time around. I think I validated his feelings but he thinks that if I don't completely agree with how he feels about this issue & am just agreeing to do it anyway, that I am just saying it to get him to come home. I said I wouldn't do that because in the long run it would still be a problem between us & I don't want him to come back just to leave again.
I told him that I have thought about alot of things over the last 6 months & realize that I have to be better at seeing things from his perspective & be willing to compromise. I thought I was validating his thoughts but he keeps saying that there is no way I will agree to this once he is back home.
What do I do or say to show him I can live with this & it won't be a problem? I tried to explain that I have been living on less for 6+ months so what he puts towards bills from his regular 40 hours will be a great help. I can see why he thinks I won't really follow thru based on actions from the past, but how do I convince him?
Hope this isn't to confusing... Thanks for any advice.
